Under the corridor bridge in the Shen Family Garden, Yu Ce found the little lad sobbing by the stream. Huddled up like a small, snowy ball, the soft tufts of hair on his head trembled as he tried to keep himself from crying too loudly.
At just a glance, Yu Ce’s heart melted. He approached slowly, bending down beside the little one, and asked softly in his ear, “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The sudden voice startled the child. His thin shoulders trembled, and he raised his tear-filled eyes. “Father.”
The stream seemed to be brought from outside the city, flowing loudly in front of them, carrying a cool breeze from afar. Yu Ce unbuttoned his collar, sitting beside Goldfish, and asked in a low voice, “Did you quarrel with your little brother?”
At the mention of his brother, Goldfish pursed his lips and seemed reluctant to respond. Rubbing his eyes, he whispered, “No.”
A gentle breeze swept by, and Yu Ce nodded softly, as if blending into the wind itself.
Goldfish leaned closer to him, snuggling against Yu Ce’s body. He looked down at his shoe tips and spoke with a sense of grievance, “Father, do you think I’m like a small windmill?”
Confused, Yu Ce asked, “Why do you say that?”
“Windmills are pretty but useless,” Goldfish lowered his eyes, hugging himself tighter, his voice growing weaker, “just like me, I’m useless for anything.”
As the words fell, the father beside him seemed to sink into deep thought for a while. After a moment, he gave his answer: “Yes.”
That single word nearly shattered Goldfish’s newly constructed emotional defense. He burst into tears again, this time genuinely heart-wrenching sobs, gasping for breath.
Yu Ce sighed, patting him gently on the back. “What’s wrong with being like a small windmill?”
Goldfish choked out, “It’s not good. If I’m like a windmill, I can’t be as capable as my little brother, to help you and daddy. You won’t love me like you love him.”
Sometimes he would think, his little brother should be the older one, and he, so weak, should be the younger.
Crying, he nestled into Yu Ce’s embrace, as if only there could he release all the suppressed sorrow in his heart, until he soaked Yu Ce’s clothes entirely. Finally, he heard Yu Ce say helplessly, “Who said I must only love those who are capable? Both you and your brother are our children. If we go by your reasoning…”
Yu Ce paused briefly, then continued, “If we go by your reasoning, your daddy is only at the mid Golden Core stage. Shouldn’t we protect him just like we protect you? Would you dislike him because his cultivation isn’t high?”
This question stunned the child. He had never thought about this before, or perhaps, understanding this question was too difficult for his young mind.
But he knew, “I won’t dislike daddy. I like him the most.”
Yu Ce smiled slightly, gently pinching his ear. “So, whether you’re capable or not, we will still love you.”
Goldfish pouted, whispering, “But what about my little brother? Will he think I’m stupid?”
His little brother had just said, ‘Isn’t this like the Nine Rings Puzzle we played in the Hidden Dragon Valley? I taught you before, how did you forget so quickly?’
But, he couldn’t solve it back then…
He was so afraid that one day his little brother would think he was stupid, and everyone would like his little brother more and dislike his own clumsiness.
“Do you hate your little brother?” Yu Ce rubbed his head gently and asked softly, “Would you dislike him because sometimes he doesn’t speak nicely?”
Goldfish hesitated and replied, “No.”
The child wiped the tears from his face and earnestly repeated, “I will never hate my little brother.”
Even if in the future his brother ignored him, didn’t like him, didn’t want to play with him, or even hit and scolded him, he would never hate his little brother.
Yu Ce’s lips curled slightly as he held him tight, whispering, “Goldfish, remember when we used to take you and your little brother out to play? Your brother was always timid and scared, hiding behind you, even though his cultivation was much higher than yours. He was just shy and reserved, struggling to speak when meeting new people.”
As Yu Ce spoke, Goldfish vaguely recalled those fragmented scenes from deep within his memory.
Back then, as a young child, he didn’t understand cultivation or realize his own weakness. Wherever they went, he always protected his little brother. When his brother couldn’t speak, he spoke for him, like a mother hen protecting her chicks.
Thinking of himself as a mother hen, Goldfish chuckled and blew a bubble of snot.
Yu Ce couldn’t help but smile at him. “Look at you,” he said, taking out a handkerchief and gently wiping the child’s face. Then, he continued earnestly, “Your brother is talented. He naturally formed his Golden Core when he was born, but because of that, he has to do more. He needs to practice diligently, fight demons, defend the righteous path, and protect you…”
Goldfish stopped crying and listened quietly to Yu Ce’s words.
“But no matter how talented your little brother is, he’s still your little brother. He can’t do everything on his own, just like me—I have things I can’t do either. As his older brother, you must protect him.”
Murmuring to himself, Goldfish repeated, “As his older brother, I must protect him?” How could he protect his little brother?
“Yes,” Yu Ce pondered for a moment, struggling for words. Finally, he decided to use Shen Tanqi as an analogy. “Just like me and your daddy. He may not confront the bad guys directly, so I handle that part. But sometimes, the wisdom I lack, your daddy teaches me.”
Hearing Yu Ce describe Shen Tanqi like this, Goldfish’s admiration for his daddy instantly surged. He asked eagerly, “Daddy is so powerful. What has he taught you?”
Yu Ce carefully recalled a few things Shen Tanqi had said and shared them with the child.
The child widened his eyes, trying hard to understand but seeming to struggle. He scratched his face and said, “Dandan doesn’t understand, but Dandan thinks it’s amazing.”
This amused Yu Ce, who lightly booped the child’s nose. “Alright, stop crying. How about apologizing to your little brother when we go back?”
Goldfish pursed his lips and whispered, “No.”
He had decided to ignore his brother today—he was going to be angry all day.
The river grew quieter, and Yu Ce’s voice grew more serious. “Sometimes, a wrong word, a mistake, or even a single wrong decision can’t be undone. Goldfish, have you thought about what you would do if your little brother’s heart was deeply hurt by your actions today?”
Goldfish’s face went pale. He couldn’t imagine his little brother being heartbroken, nor could he fathom the consequences of such a situation.
They were good brothers, blood brothers.
He couldn’t let this happen. He would apologize to his little brother as soon as he got back.
After a moment, Goldfish nodded heavily, as if taking an oath. He raised his little fist to his chest, extremely determined, and said, “Father, Dandan will apologize to his little brother when he goes back. I promise you, I will definitely protect my little brother as a good older brother. I’ll, I’ll learn from you, Daddy, and teach Erdan the right things.”
Yu Ce imagined the scene of Goldfish preaching to Taro Ball and silently lit a candle in his heart for his second son. It seemed like someone’s ears were going to have a tough time.
“The weather’s good today, let’s go for a swim in the river,” Yu Ce looked up at the sunlight. Since the weather was clear, he helped Goldfish take off his thick outer garment, smiling as he said, “When you were little, you used to hold your breath in the river whenever you were upset.”
Goldfish blushed and hesitantly took off his clothes, placing them in Yu Ce’s hand. “Father, please watch over me and don’t let anyone see.”
The child had indeed grown up. He was starting to feel embarrassed.
Yu Ce nodded and watched as the naked little lad eagerly plunged into the water. Suddenly, mist rose around him, and the river surged. From the center of the stream, a snowy dragon tail shot up like a giant paddle, slapping heavily on the water’s surface, sending layers of splashes flying, shimmering in the sunlight with golden hues.
After a while, the dragon tail sliced through the water, smoothly rushing towards Yu Ce, then swiftly stopped in front of him, splashing him with water.
Yu Ce: …
He wiped the water off his face and looked at the head poking out from the riverbank, with horns not yet fully grown, covered in a layer of fine fur.
A clear dragon’s roar echoed, followed by the beautiful dragon tail swaying in the water. “Father, isn’t it fun making such big splashes?”
“…Yes, it’s fun,” Yu Ce chuckled.
Satisfied with his father’s response, the child played more enthusiastically, wagging his tail excitedly by the shore. He was more like a puppy than a dragon. “Do you and Daddy play like this too?”
With that, he dove back into the water, swimming around joyfully.
On the bank, Yu Ce thought of Shen Tanqi, paused, then shook his head. “Your daddy… he doesn’t like playing with me.”
The dragon horn emerged from the water, and the child looked at him in puzzlement. “Why not?”
“He…” Yu Ce didn’t know how to explain this to the child. His eyes dimmed slightly, and after a long pause, he said softly, “It’s like you and Dandan. Your daddy thinks I’m the strongest person in the world, but he feels he’s weak. He believes we can’t be together.”
The so-called male lead is supposed to be the strongest person in the world, and Shen Tanqi’s talk about being cannon fodder probably means he thinks he’s weak?
Goldfish sat by the bank, deep in thought, using his little brain. “If Dandan and I can be together, then you and Daddy can certainly be together too.”
Hearing this, Yu Ce rested his chin on his hand, gazing at the distant clouds, and sighed. “It’s still not possible.”
Goldfish and Taro Ball were brothers, but their situation was different.
He didn’t want to have that kind of relationship with Shen Tanqi.
“Daddy.”
Goldfish suddenly stared at him and whispered, “Sometimes, making a wrong decision can’t be undone. Didn’t you tell me that?”
“If one day Daddy isn’t here anymore, what will you do?”
As the words fell, Yu Ce stood frozen in place, his eyes widening slightly.
If Shen Tanqi wasn’t here anymore…
What would he do?
Shen Tanqi would eventually leave this place. Even if he had feelings for the children, even if he owed Shen Tanqi his life, it wouldn’t be enough to make Shen Tanqi willingly stay here.
By then, after Shen Tanqi left, what would he do with the children? Could he still hold on to that firm belief from the Hidden Dragon Valley days, believing he could gracefully let Shen Tanqi go?
One wrong decision, one seemingly harmless hesitation, could possibly make him lose the most important thing, never to meet again for eternity. Could he really bear such a consequence?
Yu Ce placed his hand over his chest.
Was it beating fast?
He asked himself.
No, it hadn’t been.
But the thought of Shen Tanqi leaving tore open a gap in his heart, allowing in a chilling wind that engulfed his limbs in coldness.
The pain was suffocating, the scenes before his eyes blurred completely. Flashes passed by—the golden silk mandarin ducks bedding prepared long ago for Shen Tanqi, the dragon jade pendant passed down to him, never to be shared with anyone else, and the name he called out in waking and dreaming, day and night.
Shen Tanqi, Shen Tanqi.
He repeated silently in his heart.
His senior brother was wrong.
His heart didn’t beat fast enough because it had been filled to the brim with someone for so long, treasured too heavily, handled too cautiously, afraid to speak out, afraid to daydream, fearing to act rudely and regretting, thus feeling awkward in every step.
Could this not be considered liking someone—
A fleeting light suddenly flashed before his eyes. He instinctively closed them and then, for some reason, couldn’t help but smile softly.
So dizziness and confusion weren’t only present in moments of infatuation.
Senior brother, you were truly mistaken.
If you like someone, how could you not like them?
It had been a long time since he started liking.
“Wow—Father, look at this big fish, it’s so beautiful,” Goldfish caught a large fish, the shimmering scales reflecting the fleeting light. He smiled and said, “Can I keep the fish and take care of it every day, Father?”
Yu Ce lowered his eyelashes, standing quietly for a long time. Finally, under the child’s puzzled gaze, he spoke, “Hmm, keep it.”
Goldfish exclaimed happily, “You agree?”
“Yes,” Yu Ce lifted his gaze, settling on the fish. His smile was tender and gentle, with a hint of shimmer in his eyes. “Then let’s keep it.”
With everything he could do, he would make Shen Tanqi willingly stay.
Hello, everyone ヾ(＾∇＾). I hope you enjoyed the story! If you’re feeling generous, please buy me a coffee, share/comment on my translated works! Check out the link below for early chapters. (๑>ᴗ<๑)
