“This question of yours is much harder than the one I asked,” Qin Cheng smiled, but this smile was not as relaxed as before. It made people feel suffocated. “Let me think about where to start.”
Jian Heng didn’t say anything, leaving him time for silence.
“My mom’s health wasn’t like this before. She didn’t have to take medicine every day.” Qin Cheng propped up his forehead with one hand and pressed it hard. “Later, when she was pregnant with me… Originally, Beta pregnancies are already difficult, but unfortunately, I followed my dad, who is a top Alpha.”
“My mom didn’t gain any weight during her more than eight months of pregnancy, she even lost a lot of weight. Her condition didn’t improve even after I was born, and she had to take medicine all year round to maintain her health.”
“Initially, it wasn’t particularly serious,” Qin Cheng paused. Mentioning the accident after six years was still like it happened yesterday. “But, but then… my dad was gone…”
Jian Heng furrowed his brow slightly. He placed his hand on Qin Cheng’s head and rubbed it gently, “Don’t say any more.”
Qin Cheng took a deep breath and tilted his head to look at him. Apart from the redness in the corners of his eyes, he was still calm: “Let me… talk about it. I’m almost suffocated…”
Jian Heng didn’t say anything. He just moved the hand on his head to his back and patted it gently.
“My dad had an accident…” Qin Cheng lowered his head, his hands on his knees trembling slightly, “…it’s because of me.”
Jian Heng’s hand paused.
Qin Cheng lowered his head to hide his expression. As if he wanted to ease the atmosphere, he laughed, but Jian Heng felt it was more like a cry of suppressed emotion.
“It was my birthday that day, and I called my dad and told him that if he came home late, I wouldn’t eat the cake.” Qin Cheng took a deep breath when mentioning this, opened his mouth, hesitated for a while, then said: “He rushed home, ran a red light, and collided with a taxi full of people… No one, made it…”
Jian Heng tilted his head to look at him, and after a while, he gently wrapped his arms around him and patted him as if he were touching something fragile.
Natural disasters and man-made calamities. No one could easily walk away from an accident like that.
“It’s fine, how long has it been.” When Qin Cheng looked up again, only the corners of his eyes were red. There was a forced smile at the corner of his mouth.
But Jian Heng could see that his eyes were dead, like a pool of stagnant water.
“My mom fainted when she heard the news, and she went into the operating room with my dad,” Qin Cheng poked his palm with an iron wire, looking into the distance without focus in his eyes, “because my dad ran a red light, he was fully responsible. Our family sold the house but it wasn’t enough to compensate, so we had to borrow a lot from relatives to barely make up for it.”
“So,” Qin Cheng tilted his head to look at Jian Heng, “our family has debts to repay, my mom needs medication, as well as living expenses and tuition… I have to take responsibility.”
“The consequences I’ve caused, regardless of whether I can or not, I have to make amends.”
Qin Cheng lowered his head after speaking, and the corners of his mouth were so heavy that he could no longer lift them.
Jian Heng grabbed the iron wire and threw it aside, prying Qin Cheng’s hands apart. The wire left several white marks on his palms. Jian Heng then clenched his hand tightly around Qin Cheng’s.
Feeling a sudden sting from this action, Qin Cheng sniffled and turned his head slightly. Jian Heng could see the tight muscles in his jaw and his slightly trembling lips.
Qin Cheng was holding back, he didn’t want to cry.
“Rest for a while if you’re tired,” Jian Heng pinched his palm, “just for a while, it won’t have any impact on life.”
“…will,” Qin Cheng shook his head, his jaw tensed in a fragile and sharp arc, as if he wanted to cut himself, “I deserve to be tired like this. I caused the consequences that I can’t bear, my dad can’t come back, and my mom’s health will never recover. I destroyed my family and I also destroyed other people’s families… I deserve to die of exhaustion.”
“You——” Jian Heng frowned.
“I just deserve it,” Qin Cheng turned his head, his eyes red, he pronounced the words so hard that his lips trembled, and said word by word, “I am.”
Jian Heng didn’t know what to say, he could only hold his shaking hand silently.
Many accidents that caused great harm to the people involved were just a story in the eyes of outsiders, and the consolation was all irrelevant nonsense.
Just like he couldn’t say to Qin Cheng, ‘It was your father who wanted to run the red light, he was the one who made the mistake’. In terms of logic, this is correct, but in terms of emotion, this sentence is too cruel.
After a long time, Qin Cheng whispered a thank you.
Jian Heng let out an ‘Um’.
…..
“Ugh, why am I so long-winded1墨迹 (mò jì): ink marks; ink stains; original handwriting, calligraphy or painting (especially of a famous person). T/N: According to netizens, 墨迹 (mò jì) actually means 磨叽 (mò ji), (regional, colloquial, derogatory) to be very slow; to dawdle; to do things very slowly; (regional, colloquial, derogatory) to be long-winded; to prattle on. In Chinese input methods, they are homophones, so sometimes people are lazy and just type 墨迹 (mò jì). 磨叽 comes from Manchu, and this word is mainly used by people in Northeast China and Beijing. It roughly means that you talk too much.?” Qin Cheng looked at the two people’s hands clasped together, his emotions pulling away from the past, and he returned to a relaxed state as if he didn’t care about anything. “Thank you for listening to me for so long.”
“You’re welcome.” Jian Heng said.
Qin Cheng smiled, “Actually, if you hadn’t brought me here today, I might have ended up talking to my pillow in the middle of the night.”
Jian Heng looked at him.
“Let’s go, class is almost over.” Qin Cheng stood up and felt a weight on his arm. He lowered his head and realized that the two of them were still holding hands.
He looked at Jian Heng, who let go as if nothing had happened and stood up with him.
Qin Cheng did not think much about it and recalled the scene just now.
He didn’t expect that he would talk so much to Jian Heng. In his plan, he only needed to say that he was a little tired recently, his family needed money, and he needed to stream… He didn’t mention live streaming after talking for so long.
He’s really, he’s been acting silly during this period of time.
As for why it was Jian Heng, Qin Cheng also couldn’t explain it clearly.
Maybe it was because of the kind of qualities that Jian Heng had. He didn’t talk much but had a strong presence. He was calm from the inside out, which made people subconsciously convinced. It might also be because of their pheromone compatibility, which makes him physiologically believe in this person.
In short, he subconsciously believed that Jian Heng would be a good listener.
And he was indeed tired, too tired during this period of time. The kind of tiredness that would make him collapse if he didn’t find someone to talk to.
This person couldn’t be Tan Qi, because Tan Qi would try every means to help him, and he couldn’t accept that kind of help.
It would be just a drop in the bucket, and Tan Qi would have to endure more fatigue.
Fortunately, Jian Heng was there when he wanted to speak, and he listened.
Qin Cheng tilted his head to look at Jian Heng’s profile. He just told his secret without any defense, Jian Heng’s… Never mind, he was not interested in analyzing others.
When Jian Heng is willing to tell him, he will be a faithful listener.
The two of them walked to the door of the class and bumped into Tan Qi, who was rushing out.
Tan Qi pointed at Qin Cheng angrily: “Holy shit! Qin-ge, you are so unkind! You——”
Jian Heng walked in front of Qin Cheng and glanced at him: “Make way.”
Tan Qi immediately backed off. He reluctantly withdrew his hand and stepped aside to make way for the big shot.
Qin Cheng wanted to laugh when he saw him being so cowardly. He followed Jian Heng in with a smile, completely ignoring his brother’s feelings.
Tan Qi followed closely behind, keeping a safe distance of two meters from the two of them——mainly from Jian Heng.
When the two of them sat down, Tan Qi patted the table in front of Qin Cheng, a soft-tempered Omega, and said: “Go sit at my table, I’ll buy you a cola.”
The Omega left without saying anything. Tan Qi sat down and continued to point at Qin Cheng: “Qin-ge, tell me with your conscience. Didn’t you always take me out before?”
“Oh,” Qin Cheng unscrewed the bottle of mineral water and took a sip, “Really?”
“Oh! you actually said oh!” Tan Qi slammed the table in indignation, “You abandoned me to find…”
He quickly glanced at Jian Heng, “Don’t you have to reflect on this?”
“Reflect on what?” Qin Cheng looked at him, “You haven’t finished your last sentence yet. I abandon you to find who?”
Tan Qi stiffened. He rubbed the back of his head, and awkwardly changed the topic: “Uh, that… I guess the English teacher will go to Lao Xu to complain. You two should prepare.”
Qin Cheng frowned and turned his head to look at Jian Heng: “I might be suspended from class, you——”
“Go back together.” Jian Heng said.
Qin Cheng felt very guilty, “It won’t affect your grades, will it? How about I go and talk to Lao Xu.”
Jian Heng flipped open her book: “It won’t be affected. No need to go.”
Tan Qi: “…”
What’s going on? Did they go steady or not? Jian Heng looked at him with that kind of eyes, but not at Qin-ge. Is this an ambiguous relationship…Yes, the ambiguous stage!
Tan Qi confirmed it. He scanned the area carefully, patted Qin Cheng on the shoulder, and nodded affirmatively: “Qin-ge, jiayou2加油 (jiā yóu): (literally) to oil; to lubricate; to refuel; (figuratively) to refuel to accelerate; to hit the gas; to make extra effort; to work hard; to cheer someone on. Jiayou or Gayau is a ubiquitous Chinese expression of encouragement and support. The phrase is commonly used at sporting events and competitions by groups as a rallying cheer and can also be used at a personal level as a motivating phrase to the partner in the conversation. The phrase is often described as “the hardest to translate well” to English, but has the literal meaning of to “add oil” in Hong Kong English..” Strive to catch up.
Qin Cheng looked puzzled: “What’s wrong with you?”
Tan Qi was about to open his mouth when Lao Xu appeared at the back door and called Qin Cheng and Jian Heng.
The two of them looked at each other, stood up, and went out together.
Leaving Tan Qi alone, looking at their backs. He couldn’t stop nodding his head: What a perfect match.
It’s just a question of how exactly their big straight man, Qin-ge, is going to pursue Jian Heng, who is also an Alpha.
In the office, Lao Xu frowned as she looked at the two students in front of her: “What’s going on with the two of you? Qin Cheng fooling around is fine, but Jian Heng, why are you following suit?”
Qin Cheng raised his hand, looking repentant: “Teacher, it’s my fault for leading him astray. I admit my mistake.”
“You, be quiet,” Lao Xu glared at him, then turned to Jian Heng with a patient and gentle expression, asking, “Is there something you find inconvenient to say? Teacher will be waiting for you alone in the office at noon, come talk to me.”
“It’s not appropriate, right, Teacher?” Qin Cheng looked at her, “I also have something inconvenient to say, why don’t you invite me?”
“Qin Cheng, your mouth is borrowed; are you in a hurry to return it?! You’re not usually this proactive. Whenever I ask about Jian Heng, you’re always causing trouble3欠欠儿的 (qiàn qiàn er de): T/N: According to netizens, this could be understood as ‘flatter + naughty’. 欠登儿 (qiàn dēng ér) is a noun in the Northeast dialect, which is slightly derogatory. It describes a person who likes to join in the fun. They are usually considered unnecessary by the speaker, or people who are likely to cause trouble.. Are you asking for a beating? Do I need to call your mom to come and let her discipline you?!”
Qin Cheng spread his hands: “I’ll stop talking.”
Just as Lao Xu was about to speak, Qin Cheng suddenly opened his mouth: “One last thing!”
Lao Xu choked on his breath. She was so angry that she kicked him. Qin Cheng didn’t dodge, taking the blow while laughing.
Lao Xu: “Speak!”
Qin Cheng: “Can you please not suspend our classes? I want to learn from Jian Heng. He is truly the benchmark of my life, illuminating the direction for me to move forward.”
He made Lao Xu chuckle in exasperation: “I’ve never seen you so eloquent during the Chinese language exam.”
As soon as he changed the subject, she was also a little angry: “No, your English teacher has had some issues at home these days. She’s not in a good mood, and you happened to hit the muzzle of the gun. She left halfway through class to cry to the director. Nothing I say seems to work.”
“Not even teaching the class?” Qin Cheng was a little surprised. Not even teaching the class and went to complain. This is the behavior of an immature person4弟弟行为 (dì di xíng wéi): lit. younger brother’s behavior. T/N: According to netizen, it is used to ridicule the stupid behavior of the other person. It means someone is immature like a younger brother..
Lao Xu was also angry: “Even Jian Heng has to go home this time. As a teacher, she doesn’t look for the reason in herself but brings her emotions to the classroom…” she stopped in mid-sentence and waved her hand, “I’ll ask Tan Qi to bring your homework back. You should also be careful these days and don’t provoke her.”
The two nodded their heads together.
Qin Cheng skillfully picked up the punishment notice on the table, patted Jianheng’s arm, and went out together. He could collect a box of punishment notices after three years of graduation.
When he walked to the door Lao Xu called out to Jian Heng: “Give me a call at night.”
Jian Heng nodded.
In the corridor, Qin Cheng folded the punishment notice into a paper airplane, saying as he folded it: “Lao Xu is trying to get you to avoid me and investigate my evil deeds.”
“It can’t fly,” Jian Heng took the half-finished airplane, disassembled it, and folded it again, “Don’t you know how to fold it?”
“Mine can fly, too,” Qin Cheng said, but he still looked at his hands carefully, “I’ve never seen this technique of yours before, where did you learn it?”
“My mom taught me.” Jian Heng folded it and handed it to him.
“Auntie is so amazing?” Qin Cheng took the airplane and turned it up and down. The creases were neat and the corners were hard, which was very much in the style of Jian Heng. At first glance, it was the kind that could fly far. He was a little reluctant to throw it out. “You ran away from home, Auntie must have missed you so much.”
“She’s not there anymore.”
Qin Cheng suddenly paused.
The author has something to say:
The author sat cross-legged at the edge of the kang, holding a tea jar in their hands, sighing: Two 1.85-meter-tall guys, one punch, one little scoundrel, such a pity…
Gosh, I made a mistake of translating this in public 🙃. I have to discreetly wipe my tears while translating. I’m so weak against a tear-jerking story…
BTW, I’ve been collecting all the non-repeated idioms from my first translation, and today, my idiom collection finally reached 1,500… LMAO, I have a Chinese idiom dictionary that only has 1,000 idioms!
List of Idiom in Chapter 16
天災人禍 (tiān zāi rén huò): natural calamities and man-made disasters (idiom); catastrophes; calamities of nature and misfortunes imposed by other people.一潭死水 (yī tán sǐ shuǐ): lit. a pool of stagnant water; a stagnant and spiritless situation; stagnant or listless condition; a metaphor for a dull and stagnant situation.
無關痛癢 (wú guān tòng yǎng): to be unrelated to one’s own interests; not to affect sb; irrelevant; of no importance; insignificant; immaterial; innocuous; of no consequence; without any bite; has nothing to do with one’s own interests or is insignificant.
若無其事 (ruò wú qí shì): as if nothing had happened (idiom); calm; composed; uncaring; impervious; nonchalant.
先入為主 (xiān rù wéi zhǔ): lit. first impression is strongest; to be prejudiced by a first impression; to have a preconception (because of one’s first impression).
杯水車薪 (bēi shuǐ chē xīn): lit. to use a cup of water to put out a burning cart full of firewood; too inadequate and useless; to no avail; a cup of water on a burning cart of firewood (idiom); trying to put out a blazing cartload of sticks or twigs with a cup of water—utterly inadequate measure; a drop in the bucket; useless attempt; an idiom derived from historical stories. The original meaning is to use a cup of water to extinguish a cart of burning firewood; it is a metaphor that the power is too small to help. From Mencius (《孟子·告子上》): 孟子曰：「仁之勝不仁也，猶水勝火。今之為仁者，猶以一杯水，救一車薪之火也；不熄，則謂之水不勝火，此又與於不仁之甚者也。亦終必亡而已矣。」, Mencius said, “Benevolence subdues its opposite just as water subdues fire. Those, however, who now-a-days practice benevolence do it as if with one cup of water they could save a whole wagon-load of fuel which was on fire, and when the flames were not extinguished, were to say that water cannot subdue fire. This conduct, moreover, greatly encourages those who are not benevolent. The final issue will simply be this: the loss of that small amount of benevolence.”
亦步亦趨 (yì bù yì qū): lit. to blindly follow suit (idiom); to imitate slavishly; to do what everyone else is doing; imitate sb’s every move; dance to the tune; refers to students following the teacher closely; it means having no independent opinion and following and imitating everywhere.
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