Zhuang Hanxue played dead for two days.
He could avoid the internet, but he had to turn on his phone eventually.
Little Master gleefully updated him in real time about the news he was making:
[Look, you’re trending on Zhihu1知乎 (Zhī hū) – Directly translating to “Do you know,” Zhihu is the largest question-and-answer (Q&A) content community in China. !]
[—What do you think about the new N Station streamer coming out during a live broadcast?]
[Weibo has picked it up too? Did you buy it yourself? You’re in the top ten trending topics! You’re famous!]
[Trending: Game Streamer Comes Out]
[Wow, you’ve gone viral on QQ Space too. Look, 50,000 shares!!]
[My classmates are all asking me what’s going on]
Zhuang Hanxue felt utterly hopeless.
[Stop it. My streaming career had barely begun, and now it’s over.]
[I’m dead. How can I face anyone now?]
[Will they make me pay a penalty fee?]
Little Master replied: “No need. It’s not illegal to come out. At worst, they’ll say you’re hyping up.”
Zhuang Hanxue spent half a day mentally preparing himself. Mustering all his courage, he opened his livestream chat and took a glance.
Comments cascaded like a waterfall:
[Weibo sightseeing group, checking in!]
[QQ Space sightseeing group, checking in!]
[Zhihu sightseeing group, checking in!]
[Tieba2贴吧 (Tiē bā) – Baidu Tieba, lit. “Baidu Post Bar”, a Chinese online forum hosted by Baidu Inc. Kind of like Reddit. sightseeing group, checking in!]
[Is it true wishes come true here?]
[I wish to pass next week’s exam]
[I wish my year-end bonus doubles]
[I wish for my cat’s delivery to go smoothly]
[Is the streamer still not back? It’s been two days. Is your boyfriend keeping you in bed?]
Zhuang Hanxue instantly slammed the webpage shut.
Regret. Pure regret. Why did he ever start streaming?
Thankfully, he’d used a screen name. No one knew who he really was, or he might’ve considered suicide on the spot.
Zhuang Hanxue checked various forums. The internet was exploding with information, but the discussion peaked only on the first day.
If there hadn’t been recordings, it might’ve blown over. But someone had recorded it and even transcribed it for the melon-eating crowd3Melon-eating crowds / Melon eaters (吃瓜群众): people eating melon aka consuming gossip .
Zhuang Hanxue prided himself on developing thick skin over his 34 years, but faced with this situation, he realized his skin wasn’t thick enough.
He contacted the platform and sincerely apologized. The staff didn’t mention any legal issues or contractual violations for alleged publicity stunts. They said he could continue streaming.
His revenue had actually increased significantly during his absence.
Zhuang Hanxue, avoiding reality, hid under his blanket. He heard a familiar voice from outside—
“Hey, Xiao Gege4小哥哥 (xiǎo gēge) – lit. little older brother; a friendly, slightly flirtatious term young women often use to address attractive male strangers., how old are you? Do you have a girlfriend?”
“I’m thirty, Xiao Guniang5小姑娘 (xiǎo gūniang) – lit. means “little girl” or “young lady”. It’s often used as a friendly or affectionate way to address or refer to a young woman, typically in her teens or twenties.. Don’t be like that. I have a wife, though we don’t have kids yet. Let me tell you, a real man keeps his wife in check. My wife, she wouldn’t dare disobey me. She cooks for me every day, so gentle and considerate, with three obediences and four virtues6三从四德 (sān cóng sì dé) – “The Three Obediences and Four Virtues” is a traditional Chinese ethical code for women, rooted in Confucian philosophy. The Three Obediences require a woman to obey her father before marriage, her husband after marriage, and her son in widowhood. The Four Virtues are morality, proper speech, modest manner, and diligent work.…”
Zhuang Hanxue burst out from under the covers, his face flushed. “Stop playing that!!”
Qiu Zheyan, munching on seeds while watching the video: “Why not? I’m just seeing how your stream is going. Haha. A real man, are you? Keeping your wife in check, you say?”
Zhuang Hanxue sheepishly replied, “That was just for the stream… I was talking nonsense. I’m the one who’s kept in check, I’m…”
Qiu Zheyan had been in high spirits these past days. Seeing Zhuang Hanxue so dejected, he asked, “Are you going to continue streaming? Did the platform get back to you?”
Zhuang Hanxue said, “The platform won’t ban me. But how can I face going back to stream? Some people were quite harsh, saying it was all scripted, accusing me of sensationalism and exploiting LGBT issues. They’re making me out to be some kind of villain. I never wanted this kind of streaming accident.”
Qiu Zheyan replied, “What’s the big deal? Nothing bad happened. It just boosted your popularity. Our relationship isn’t illegal, right? So what if they overheard? If you continue streaming, I’ll edit videos for you to post in the video section. That’s an extra source of income.”
Zhuang Hanxue was surprised. “You’re not against me streaming?”
Qiu Zheyan said matter-of-factly, “Why would I object? It’s good for you to have something to do at home. This way, if your brother ever comes back and asks, he’ll know you’re not just idling around. He probably won’t badmouth me then.”
Zhuang Hanxue nodded, “That makes sense.”
But coming out to the entire internet and then continuing to stream still felt odd somehow. He scratched his head, too tired to think about it further.
Zhuang Hanxue decided to sort out his feelings before resuming his stream.
He hadn’t gone back online to stream for a while.
He planned to reconsider after the New Year.
They didn’t cook.
Qiu Zheyan reserved a table at a high-end restaurant, just for the two of them.
Thinking of his streaming and content creation career, Zhuang Hanxue took out his phone to film a short video. Since he’d already come out to the whole internet and been accused of stirring up drama, he might as well make a vlog.
He didn’t show their faces, only filming their hands and the meal.
Zhuang Hanxue said, “It’s been many years since I’ve had New Year’s Eve dinner with someone.”
Qiu Zheyan fed him a strawberry. “We’ll spend next year together too.”
That was next year’s matter.
Who could say for sure now?
Zhuang Hanxue pondered as he ate the strawberry.
After returning from their trip, on the fourth day of the New Year, Zhuang Hanxue resumed streaming.
He had gained the most followers of any streamer last month.
He’d gained over 400,000 followers in a week. Many didn’t believe it, but he truly hadn’t bought any marketing.
If he had that kind of money, he would’ve rather spent it on taking down all those trending topics!
The hype had died down considerably by now.
When Zhuang Hanxue started streaming again, he still attracted many curious spectators who called their friends to watch.
He played a single-player game while explaining the previous streaming incident:
“I’m really a novice streamer, and I hadn’t figured out many features. So I accidentally forgot to turn off my mic. It wasn’t intentional.”
“Earlier, when I mentioned having a wife or girlfriend, I was actually referring to my partner. You know, society is still… well, you understand… Though I’m shameless, I hadn’t planned on coming out.”
“Due to high work stress, I quit my job. My partner stays at home with me, taking care of cooking and chores. He just wants me to enjoy playing games every day.”
“I was mostly just too idle and wanted to find something to do.”
“Jiujiu and I are friends.”
“Jiujiu suggested I could start streaming since I was just playing games at home anyway.”
“I know I’m not skilled. I’m in my thirties – how good did you expect me to be? I position myself as an entertaining streamer.”
“I’m really not stirring up drama. What would I gain from that? My parents would break my legs if they found out.”
“These past few days, I considered giving up streaming, but that would be like running away from a crime.”
“I’m just dating a man. It’s not illegal, right? My partner says the same thing.”
“Have my partner join the stream? No way, he’s very busy with work. He definitely doesn’t have time.”
“But after learning about my streaming, he didn’t object. He’s quite supportive and even said he’d help edit my videos on weekends, hehe… Of course, he’s not charging me…”
“We were busy during the New Year. We had dinner together on New Year’s Eve and filmed a video. It should be approved for release today or tomorrow.”
“I’ve seen people saying I’m acting or stirring up drama, so there’s no point in deliberately hiding, right?”
“I’m not sure how long I’ll do this, but at least for now, I want to enjoy streaming. If you enjoy watching too, then I’m satisfied.”
From then on, Zhuang Hanxue’s streaming career got on track.
Though there were haters, overall, he had more fans than critics.
Zhuang Hanxue couldn’t understand why some people online hated him for no reason, insisting he was maliciously stirring up drama, claiming he had scripted everything with hired actors, saying the boyfriend in his vlogs was a paid actor, accusing him of being shameless and using any means to become famous and make money.
Zhuang Hanxue didn’t take these comments to heart.
He thought of Jiang Ruoyun, realizing how difficult it must have been for her to become a big star over the years, given how turbulent just his streaming had become.
Speak of the devil.
Just as Zhuang Hanxue was thinking about Jiang Ruoyun, he noticed a new friend request from her.
The verification message read: Did you accidentally delete me?
Zhuang Hanxue hesitated.
Should he add her back? Not adding her would be impolite, but if he did and Qiu Zheyan found out, he’d surely be jealous again.
He decided to screenshot and ask Qiu Zheyan, [Can I accept her request?]
Qiu Zheyan, already annoyed at work, got angry seeing this. Couldn’t this woman take a hint? He asked Zhuang Hanxue, [Do you want to accept it?]
Zhuang Hanxue replied, [I’m fine either way. It’s just a bit rude not to.]
Qiu Zheyan thought, forget it. That woman was harmless anyway and had no time to steal Zhuang Hanxue. After being scolded a few times, Zhuang Hanxue now wouldn’t dare make decisions without telling him.
Qiu Zheyan responded, [Go ahead and add her back.]
He wanted to see what that sly woman was up to. Better to keep your enemies close.
With permission granted, Zhuang Hanxue added Jiang Ruoyun back. He didn’t lie when she asked if he’d deleted her by accident: [No, my boyfriend got jealous and we argued, so I deleted you.]
Jiang Ruoyun found it amusing. [I guessed it might be something like that. I was going to invite you out, but I suppose your jealous partner wouldn’t agree.]
She then asked, [What have you been up to lately?]
Zhuang Hanxue: [I’ve become a streamer!]
Jiang Ruoyun suddenly became interested. [What kind of streamer? Where? Can I watch?]
Zhuang Hanxue sent her his ID “Doudou’s Brother”. Jiang Ruoyun sent a laughing emoji: [So that was you? I saw your news, it was hilarious!]
Zhuang Hanxue: [You follow gossip and trending topics too? I thought you were an ethereal artistic young woman.]
Jiang Ruoyun: [Haha, that’s all just an act!!]
Zhuang Hanxue felt uneasy. This woman wasn’t afraid of him leaking their chat? Wouldn’t that ruin her public image? Why was she being so candid with him?
Jiang Ruoyun asked: [Why don’t you ask Qiu Zheyan if he’d let you meet up with me?]
Zhuang Hanxue refused without asking Qiu Zheyan: [No thanks, I’m very busy. I’m focusing on my career.]
Jiang Ruoyun was straightforward: [What streaming? If you want to make money, I could introduce you to the entertainment industry. It’s even quicker than streaming. How about it, want to sign with my company?]
Zhuang Hanxue gave up: [I’m old and past my prime. I can’t do that. I need to go play games now. We’ll chat another time.]
Zhuang Hanxue felt he couldn’t outwit this woman.
Even back then, Jiang Ruoyun had been the woman who stayed by his side the longest, almost to the point of marriage.
But he didn’t feel any lingering affection. He didn’t think he had particularly liked Jiang Ruoyun at the time.
Zhuang Hanxue reminisced about the past.
However, even after breaking up with Jiang Ruoyun back then, he hadn’t been particularly heartbroken.
Would he and Xiao Qiu one day reach that point too?
The outcome of a relationship is either breaking up or marriage, right? He didn’t want to get married, so were they destined to break up?
Forget it. Why worry about it now?
He’d think about it another day.
Zhuang Hanxue rarely mentioned Qiu Zheyan during his streams, even though everyone knew he was dating a man now.
After the New Year, the weather was still cold. Aside from walking the dog in the community, Zhuang Hanxue hadn’t gone out. He streamed online daily and, being sociable, quickly made friends with a circle of streamers.
Today, he was co-streaming with a female streamer and another male streamer. The woman teased him, “Playing with girls, doesn’t your Xiao Gong7Little Gong/Top get jealous?”
Zhuang Hanxue stubbornly replied, “Hey, how do you know who’s top or bottom? I could be the top too. Am I not manly enough?”
This brought a wave of disbelieving laughter, with comments like “Don’t believe it” and “You’re definitely a bottom” flooding the screen.
The female streamer said, “Oh, right. He’d be more jealous if you played with guys, wouldn’t he? Hehe.”
The male streamer joked, “Haha, then I must try to seduce Dou-ge.”
As they were playing, Zhuang Hanxue’s phone lit up beside his keyboard. It was Qiu Zheyan calling.
This time, Zhuang Hanxue was smarter. He muted his mic before answering, “I need to take a call.”
As soon as he picked up, Qiu Zheyan’s drunken voice came through, “Honey, come pick me up.”
Zhuang Hanxue was exasperated. “You’re drunk?”
Qiu Zheyan sounded particularly docile when drunk. “Mm, I’m drunk. Everyone else has boyfriends picking them up, except me. I want you to come get me too.”
Zhuang Hanxue asked, “Where are you?”
Qiu Zheyan named a bar. Zhuang Hanxue had heard of it – it was the gay bar Qiu Zheyan often visited, meeting friends there monthly.
Zhuang Hanxue coaxed him. “Alright, be good and wait. I’ll come get you.”
After agreeing, Zhuang Hanxue went back online to apologize. “Sorry, I have to end early today. My partner’s drunk. I need to pick him up.”
The chat erupted with teasing comments.
Though it felt a bit silly,
Seeing so many people support his relationship with Qiu Zheyan made Zhuang Hanxue feel gratified.
Young people nowadays were so open-minded and progressive. They did not discriminate against homosexuality at all!
Zhuang Hanxue was wearing a hoodie and sweatpants at home. He threw on a long down jacket, didn’t even touch up his face, and headed out directly.
He took a taxi to the bar.
Zhuang Hanxue found the bar entrance and walked straight in.
He looked around but couldn’t find Qiu Zheyan. He approached the bar, intending to ask a waiter or the owner.
Just as he sat down, before he could speak, someone called out to him in surprise, “Zhuang Hanxue?!”
Zhuang Hanxue instinctively turned around and froze. It was an old friend.
One of his drinking buddies from when he was still the Zhuang family’s second young master.
Fuck.
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