WMWH Chapter 30

Although Dr Qin had hypnotized Fang Xiānsheng and made him forget that he beat Luo Bin half to death that day, one day not soon after, Fang Xiānsheng suddenly told me that he had a dream. He said that he seemed to have dreamed I was bullied by someone, and then he rushed up and beat that person.

“Wife, if someone bullies you, you must tell me, “Fang Xiānsheng said, “I will help you bully them back.”

I looked at his nervous look, and with a thought in my mind, I said deliberately: “What if the person bullying me is a person like you?”

Fang Xiānsheng was confused by my question, and after a while, he said: “Then, can you be gentler?”

I chuckled, grabbed his hand, took a bite, and said, “What about this?”

Fang Xiānsheng laughed, spread out his limbs as he lay on the bed, and said, “Here, bite as you like.”

I climbed on top of him and bit his cheek gently. Fang Xiānsheng turned his head, pointed to the other cheek, and said, “There’s also this side.” I curved the corners of my mouth and followed the good example.¹[cóng shàn rú liú]: The meaning of this idiom is to describe the ability to quickly and smoothly accept the right from opinions available to one. 

Fang Xiānsheng’s face turned red when I teased him and looked at me with bright eyes. His eager puppy-like eyes made my heart beat faster and my face felt a little hot.

I knew this meant he wanted to be intimate with me. Although I really wanted to agree with him, when I thought about Fang Xiānsheng’s weird skills, I felt so sad that I wanted to cry. Have you ever seen an attacker during sex who goes in, stays motionless, waits for a few minutes, and then comes out? There was one, right here.

The doctor said that part of the reason why I have been so resistant to sex was that my current partner’s skills were poor. In order to avoid causing a second shadow, it was best not to have a real relationship until the treatment was completed.

So I struggled over and over again and finally decided to just give him a bite on his forehead, and then I was ready to climb off him.

A moment of disappointment flashed across Fang Xiānsheng’s face, and I couldn’t bear it, so I promised him: “Next month, next month if you ask me again, I will definitely agree to it.”

“Really?” Fang Xiānsheng’s blinked.

 I leaned over and kissed him and said, “Of course it’s true.”

“Why can it only be done next month?” Fang Xiānsheng asked curiously.

I was silent for a long time and took a deep breath. And said to Fang Xiānsheng, “Because I’m sick, and the doctor said I can’t do it with you until I get better next month.”

Fang Xiānsheng was shocked. He grabbed my hand and asked, “Where is it? Does it hurt? Why didn’t you tell me?”

I shook my head, not daring to look into his eyes, and whispered: “Didn’t you ask me before why I don’t like Luo Bin? This is the reason.”

“Because he hurt me.”

There was a moment of silence in the room when I finished saying this. I suddenly looked up at Fang Xiānsheng, fearing that he would jump out of bed in excitement and run to beat Luo Bin again.

“Why,” Fang Xiānsheng said, his voice trembling a little, “Don’t Luo Bin like you? Why would he hurt you?”

I was a little embarrassed by his question, but I slowly recalled the whole incident and told him the whole story.

Fang Xiānsheng started to shed tears when he heard it, and said: “How could he treat you like this? How could he treat you like this when you are so good? How could he be so bad?”

I watched him cry uncontrollably like a child, feeling sour and astringent in my heart. While helping him wipe away the tears on his face, I comforted him and said, “Alright, don’t cry. You know, if Luo Bin hadn’t done this wrong, maybe I would have liked him all along. If that were the case, I wouldn’t have married you.” I stared at him with a warning expression.

Fang Xiānsheng was immediately frightened by me and did not dare to breathe, let alone shed tears.

I felt a little funny in my heart, pinched his face and said, “So, some things may have been arranged by God from the beginning, such as the things that will definitely hurt me and him, or the things that caused me with you now.”

“But I don’t want you to be hurt by others,” Fang Xiānsheng said, “I just want you to be with me.”

“You think so beautifully!” I rubbed Fang Xiānsheng’s face, sighed, and said, “In fact, when I think about it now. If I hadn’t been so tough and assertive at the time and could have explained it clearly to him, it might not have been like this.”

Fang Xiānsheng shook his head and said, “It can’t be, you’ve always been good.”

I said, “That’s because you are partial.”

“There is no favouritism,” Fang Xiānsheng pointed to his chest and said, “The whole thing is yours.”

My face suddenly felt a little hot, and I lowered my head and didn’t dare to look at him. But Fang Xiānsheng even laughed twice and poked my cheek, uncovering two round dimples.

Damn it! There was no way to talk about this anymore!

I quickly stopped and pinched Fang Xiānsheng’s face, and warned him fiercely: “Don’t talk! Listen to what I have to say!”

When Fang Xiānsheng reluctantly closed his mouth, I continued: “Do you remember that time we went to the revolving restaurant for dinner? When I was leaving, I told you that I was going to the bathroom, but actually I was going to see him. He said he failed to start a business in Q city and is planning to come to G city to look for opportunities.”

“At that time, he was still in contact with my brother, and my parents always felt that he was kind to our family, so I couldn’t really treat him as a stranger, and I still had to say hello. But he seemed to have misunderstood my meaning and thought I still liked him, so he came over to kiss me without thinking. I didn’t want to, so we started fighting.”

“After we left, he somehow got my mobile phone number. He sent me a text message saying that the 200,000 yuan he lent my family was taken without telling his parents. His parents almost severed ties with him when they found out. He even dropped out of school because of this incident, and his life was very difficult for the next few years.”

“When I heard what he said, I felt quite uncomfortable. I felt sorry for not helping him. That’s why when he told me that he was fired from the restaurant, I rushed to find him.”

“Anyway, he became like this because he helped my family with money and saved the house. Although he didn’t ask our family to pay him back, I later saw that his situation was quite bad, so I stopped by when I went to find him that day and gave him two hundred thousand back.”

“However, because I didn’t have enough money, I used your card.” I glanced at Fang Xiānsheng embarrassedly and said, “I will pay you back in the future.”

Fang Xiānsheng shook his head, looked at me pitifully, and pointed to his mouth. It meant he couldn’t speak. I had a bad intention and deliberately said to him: “Don’t talk, just hold it in.”

Fang Xiānsheng: QAQ

I was amused by his little expressions, and couldn’t help but pinch his face again, took a step back and said, “That’s all I have to say.”

“My mother said…” I interrupted Fang Xiānsheng as soon as he started: “Okay, this is already a sentence. Don’t speak now, hold it in.”

Fang Xiānsheng: QAQ

I was already rolling with laughter in my heart, but my face still had a serious expression. There was no way to bear this, Fang Xiānsheng’s seductive skills were too strong, and I was not as thick-skinned as him. I get confused every time he talks. If he keeps talking, I probably won’t be able to finish talking about this matter his matter for a long time.

I rubbed Fang Xiānsheng’s cheek and said, “I made it clear to him when I returned the money to Luo Bin. I said that I couldn’t forgive him but I didn’t want to hate him. Anyway, we both didn’t like each other. We owe each other, and it’s best not to have any contact with each other. But I didn’t know what my brother said to him. He always thought that I married you for your family’s money, so he went to see me twice later and asked me if I still liked him.”

Fang Xiānsheng: QAQ

“I ignored him, but I didn’t expect that he would go directly to you.” I was a little annoyed and said, “Sometimes when I think about it, the matter between him and me is like a mess, and I can’t even explain it myself, so I haven’t told you yet, just because I’m afraid you might misunderstand me if I couldn’t explain it you well.”

“But now, I’ve told you all about it,” I looked at Fang Xiānsheng carefully and said, “Fang Fang, can you forgive me?”

Fang Xiānsheng nodded desperately and pointed at his mouth. I curled up the corner of my mouth and lowered my head to kiss him without saying a word.

Fang Xiānsheng’s eyes widened and then slowly closed. 

Lips and teeth intertwined, everything else was in silence.

The passion was ignited at the first moment, and by the time I came to my senses, Fang Xiānsheng and I were already treating each other sincerely, and resisting the lingering love.

It was only at this moment that I suddenly discovered that what had been bothering me might not be the fear of sex, but the guilt and uneasiness caused by the concealment from this person. After I told all the unbearable and sad things in the past, I found that the fear and worry that had previously plagued Fang Xiānsheng and I had disappeared invisibly.

Oh, fuck the doctor’s orders, psychiatrists are liars. 

I just wanted to open my body and soul and welcome the one I love.

Welcome the angel who loves me deeply.

He makes me shine like diamonds.²This line was written in English. This line reminds me of Young and Beautiful, a song by Lana Del Rey, it has one lyric as: He’s my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds. However, I’m not sure if this is what the author referred to or intended to refer.

• 1
  [cóng shàn rú liú]: The meaning of this idiom is to describe the ability to quickly and smoothly accept the right from opinions available to one. 
• 2
  This line was written in English. This line reminds me of Young and Beautiful, a song by Lana Del Rey, it has one lyric as: He’s my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds. However, I’m not sure if this is what the author referred to or intended to refer.