Bai Tang woke up feeling refreshed and clear-headed, only to discover that… he hadn’t reviewed last night.
Moreover, Bai Tang had signed up early, so he had to take the certification exam today. Bai Tang, about to face his first exam in life, felt inexplicably nervous. He sat outside the examination room, flipping through materials in a rush.
This morning, he would take the written test, and if he passed, he could attend the interview in the afternoon.
“System, I’m a bit nervous,” Bai Tang whispered, resorting to last-minute prayers. “I shouldn’t have indulged so much last night, but the Spirit Spring water is really good.”
The system’s inner turmoil resembled an old lady’s conflicted expression. It thought, “You really shouldn’t have drunk, or one day, you won’t even know if you’ve been wiped out.”
However, when it came to saying these words to Bai Tang, the system couldn’t bring itself to do so. It sighed heavily, feeling the weight of a burden it shouldn’t bear at this age.
With a melancholic gaze, the system looked at the Jinjiang interface. Xiao Feige’s novel still hasn’t been updated today, and the comment section was filled with envy and resentment towards the reader who received the “private customized sweet cake,” akin to loyal ministers condemning the enchanting concubine misleading the king.
Although the comment section was filled with jealousy, overall, it was relatively harmonious. Until a negative comment suddenly appeared —
Reader: Ordinary passerby A
Rating: -2
Chapter Comment: Chapter 1
Just joined V and no update yet
1st Comment: The author is taking a break, just two days. Giving a negative score is a bit harsh.
2nd Comment: The author will resume updates tomorrow, don’t be so impatient.
3rd Comment: Negative score just like that? Scared, scared.
4th Comment: OP, stay calm. Although the author is named “QuackQuackQuackQuackQuack”, she took a break. She should be a trustworthy pigeon.
5th Comment by the author “QuackQuackQuackQuackQuack”: Checked the backend, zero subscription rate, no updates on the piracy website. Don’t come looking for me.
6th Comment: So OP is a piracy dog? Shocked.
The system didn’t understand the meaning of the term “piracy dog,” so it looked it up and found that piracy dogs include piracy websites, resource bloggers, etc. They are like blood-sucking parasites attached to authors. It’s hard to imagine that a piracy website can operate at zero cost, plagiarizing authors’ texts, with annual earnings reaching millions.
The novels compiled by resource bloggers are priced even higher than the full-text subscription on Jinjiang, yet there are still people buying them.
Eighty percent of the ordinary authors in Jinjiang can’t compare their Weibo followers to those of a resource blogger. As the resource blogger organizes the novel package, engaging in the act of theft and offering critiques on authors and their works, underneath are countless fans expressing gratitude.
It’s chilling to see.
The system was so enraged that it literally exploded. It fiercely blasted all the piracy websites and then hacked the computer of the “Ordinary Passerby A.”
So, on this day, all the writers on the entire internet were left dumbfounded.
They cried with their heads in their hands, documenting this historic day.
After completing all this, the system, deeply concealed in its achievements and fame, took a deep breath, smashed 20,000 RMB worth of dominant tickets for Xiao Feige, and left a message: “Don’t be upset, you’re the best.”
Bai Tang had no idea that the system had silently done such a groundbreaking event. He was still flipping through materials. Soon, it was time for the exam. Bai Tang entered the examination room.
The examiner was a dragonfly spirit dressed in a small evening gown. He reached out to adjust his bow tie, proudly stating, “No monster can cheat under my watchful eyes. I can see all your little moves clearly from the stage.”
The dragonfly is an outstanding compound-eyed performer in the insect world.
The candidates remained as quiet as chickens.
The only sound in the examination room was the rustling of everyone flipping through their test papers.
Bai Tang gripped his pen and looked at the first major section of the life question —
1. In human society, how often should you wash your hair?
A. Every two days
B. Every two weeks
C. Every two months
D. Every two years
Bai Tang: “…”
I feel like my intelligence has been insulted.
Bai Tang, feeling inspired, swiftly moved on to the second section, the language and communication question —
1. How should you greet your neighbors?
A. Have you eaten?
B. Meow Meow Meow
C. Woof Woof Woof
D. Squeak Squeak Squeak
Of course, these are the easy questions in the test. The difficulty level of the medium-range questions is probably like this —
3. Which holiday is for two humans in love?
A. Children’s Day (June 1st)
B. Spring Festival (Chinese New Year)
C. National Day
D. Qixi Festival (Chinese Valentine’s Day)
The system and Bai Tang, feeling as lonely as a snowy landscape, turned to the next page of the test together. There, they encountered a challenging question —
1. If your human friend says they want to break up, what should you do? (Subjective question)
“That rabbit spirit mentioned in class that at this point, you should discuss two aspects. If it’s a male human, encourage reconciliation. After reconciliation, take him out for a drink to drown his sorrows,” the system said. “If it’s a female human, advise a breakup. After advising a breakup, she’ll be reluctant to part ways and will start finding positive qualities in her boyfriend. If she truly wants to break up, she’ll do so under your persuasion.”
“But! The most perfect solution is to just agree with whatever the humans say! Otherwise, if they really break up, they’ll come back to scold you!”
Bai Tang, writing while reflecting, remarked, “Humans are truly hard to understand.”
After tackling the challenging questions, Bai Tang came across the last additional question —
Soon, the Qixi Festival is approaching. Please write about the origin and legends of the Qixi Festival, along with any poems related to the festival.
“We got this, we got this!” The system joyfully patted its metaphorical belly. “How do you feel about being a top scorer with full marks?”
Bai Tang, with a touch of modesty, said, “Firstly, I want to thank Teacher Chu Li, and then I want to express my gratitude to the system behind me…”
As the exam time came to an end, Bai Tang confidently submitted his exam paper, walked out of the examination room with a cheerful demeanor, and gave a radiant smile to the waiting Su Siyuan.
Su Siyuan didn’t ask about Bai Tang’s exam results. Instead, he took Bai Tang around for a stroll outside. At that moment, an elderly man with dark skin was selling sugar-coated haws on the street.
Bai Tang, curious, glanced a few more times. “Do you want to try?” Su Siyuan noticed Bai Tang’s expression and asked in a low voice.
Bai Tang usually drinks flower dew, but that doesn’t mean he can’t eat other foods. It’s just that if Bai Tang eats those foods, he has to expend extra energy to digest them.
For the frugal… no, for the thrifty Bai Tang, he declined.
Upon hearing Su Siyuan’s suggestion, Bai Tang quickly waved his hand and shook his head. He had just glanced at the sugar-coated haws but suddenly felt like he had seen that thing somewhere before.
Where was it?
In the memory of Lin Jiaozhu, there was a time when he silently ate this thing after taking medicine. When he ate the red fruit, his overall mood seemed suppressed as if he were consuming something bitter.
“What’s this called? Is it bitter?” White Tang asked Su Siyuan.
Su Siyuan replied, “This is sugar-coated haws, sweet.”
Indeed, Lin Jiaozhu is a strange person; he looks unhappy even when eating sugar-coated haws.
＊
The interview section was easy for Bai Tang—it was just chatting face-to-face with the interviewers.
Of course, in Bai Tang’s eyes, it was an interview. In the system’s eyes, it was a group of various types of monsters, fierce like tigers and lions, cunning like foxes and jackals. Everyone was rubbing their hands together, ready to scare the candidates to tears.
Then, they saw Bai Tang’s face.
The immensely powerful beauty of the flourishing era.
So, all the interviewers turned as gentle as little lambs, desperately putting on smiling faces, treating Bai Tang with warmth like a spring breeze, going so far as to be excessively lenient.
Holding his certified spirit permit, Bai Tang left the examination room happily and coincidentally ran into a pale-faced Zhen Aichi.
Zhen Aichi was being supported by Tang Jinlang as he came out. He weakly said, “Th-there were cats, so many cats. They have such cruel hearts. They asked me how to act when going to a cat café with human friends.”
Tang Jinlang asked, “What should you do?”
“W-well, you should… pet the cats.” The young man was so saddened that he stuttered.
Tang Jinlang imagined the size of rural cats and felt that petting a few of them shouldn’t be that difficult.
“Wuwuwu, i-it’s a lion! That big cat is a lion! There’s also a tiger beside it!” Zhen Aichi exclaimed in distress.
Here’s how it happened —
When you go to a cat café with human friends, how do you skillfully and naturally pet the cats?
A large lion appeared with graceful steps, causing Zhen Aichi to shudder and almost tremble. Quick-witted, he said, “Teacher, in human society’s cat cafés, there are usually small kittens, adorable little creatures. We need to meet the requirements of the question.”
The lion spirit looked deeply at Zhen Aichi, then turned and left.
Before the little hamster could breathe a sigh of relief, he saw a large tiger approaching with cat-like steps!
Zhen Aichi stuttered, “Ar-are you a little kitten?”
“I’m a big brain axe, the cute kind.” The giant cat, measuring two and a half meters in length, replied.
＊
Anyway, in the end, everyone got their spirit certificates!
After the exams, it was 2:00 PM. Su Siyuan checked the time and decided there was still time, so he took Bai Tang to the temple to meet the Koi Spirit.
On the mountain, there were many devout men and women. When these humans saw Bai Tang, they couldn’t help but turn their heads for an extra glance.
Dressed in a wide-sleeved robe, even with a veil, Bai Tang exuded an otherworldly beauty. In this temple surrounded by smoke and fireworks, he seemed like a youth stepping out of a painting.
Su Siyuan stood beside Bai Tang, blocking the view of most people. The handsome man in a suit and the youth in a wide-sleeved robe created a strangely harmonious combination as if they were meant to be together.
The Koi Spirit was in the lake behind the temple. It was a tranquil forest area, and the lake water was as green as jade. When Su Siyuan and Bai Tang appeared by the lake, a golden koi leaped out from the calm surface, creating ripples.
The koi transformed into a humanoid shape, or rather, a shape resembling a human. Her lower body was a fishtail. At this moment, the Koi Spirit gently swayed her fish tail, swimming to the edge of the lake. Her wet hands rested on the shore, revealing a thin, translucent webbing between her fingers.
“The boy from the Phoenix Clan has returned,” the Koi Spirit’s face resembled that of a twenty-year-old woman, but her voice was like that of an old, hoarse woman. “What brings you here?”
“Granny, I want to ask you for a favor.” Su Siyuan took out the golden sand from his pocket and placed it in front of the Koi Spirit. “I would like you to put this thing into the brocade bag.”
“Isn’t this Old Su’s precious item?” The Koi Spirit chuckled. “Is he willing to give it away? Who’s the lucky little one he’s giving it to?”
She glanced at Bai Tang beside them and then chuckled gently. “This little monster looks so handsome. Come here, I have something to give you.”
Hearing this, Bai Tang looked a bit confused and glanced at Su Siyuan. Su Siyuan said, “Go ahead and thank Granny Jin. Granny Jin doesn’t easily give gifts.”
There was something Su Siyuan didn’t say — this Koi Spirit indeed didn’t easily give gifts to just anyone. But there was an exception: those who looked good.
The golden saying of Granny Jin was —
People with good looks never have too bad luck because I like them.
