Extra Chapter 15
Stellar Calendar 278, September 15, clear skies
Today marks the victory day of our first star battle. Our whole family wore masks and left our private planet to travel to Star Seventeen.
Baldy wasn’t new to riding my mech, but ever since I took him to the virtual arena, he became more interested in mechs.
He touched the cold memory metal with his little hands, just like he does with his salty fish plush pillow. Then something unexpected happened: where he touched the mech, a small silver heart suddenly bulged out, tiny and not even as big as Baldy’s paw.
This was a little surprise left by that mech master for my cub. Only my cub’s repeated touches would make a small heart appear on the memory metal surface of the mech.
If it weren’t for my cub, this little gift would never have been discovered.
“Wow—! Number 20 is giving me a heart!”
I told Baldy that the mech is called Number 20, but when he naturally said the name…
I suddenly felt like my memories turned into a pendulum, swinging between fading past and clearer future.
Number 20, trapped in my consciousness, like a ghost lurking inside this cold mech. He died at some point, but with no one to bury him, he lingered here until Baldy gently stroked him—
Skinny Number 20 with long, slender insect wings.
Two similar yet different tiger cubs raised their paws, their paw pads overlapping, and the pendulum in my mind swung slowly, weaving flashes of sorrow and affectionate phantoms.
Perhaps living a lifetime means enduring pain for one’s existence. When suffering comes to an end, eternal joy begins.
The living are here, the deceased are there, suffering flows like a river, joy lies beyond.
I squatted down and lightly touched that cold, silver heart with my finger, saying to the excited Baldy, “Yes, he really likes you.”
He had never seen a cub as adorable as you; he really likes you.
And I really like you, both of you.
Bobo reached out to touch the mech, and a small silver star appeared on his palm. Memory metal takes on different shapes each time; there are stars, moons, suns, and even flowers…
He murmured softly, “Wow~,” while Baldy beside him chuckled foolishly.
I remember being in that dim, cold little compartment, hearing the cubs’ cries every day, their mournful wails. Day after day, I knew nothing about what would happen in the future, but at that time, I already knew we were all sentenced to death.
Not knowing when death would come, not knowing how I would die. If I had been trapped there, imprisoned in darkness and pain, I might have died in despair, like the other test subjects.
But I had heard about the splendid starry sky from the Golden Python, the sublime, brilliant, vast endless sky.
The world became a prison, the earth turned into a wasteland, the sky became a shroud, others were my hell, and myself was my starry sky.
My two cubs, their blue eyes shimmered with pure joy, like sapphires gleaming in the sunlight, like stars in the boundless sea of stars.
These little surprises only appear when touched by cubs; when adults touch them, the shapes of memory steely return to their original form. So when I touched that heart, it was like a raindrop falling on the water, instantly returning to its smooth surface.
I knew he had disappeared.
This time, he really disappeared.
I looked at the sparkling starry sky outside the mech; a shooting star silently slid across the sky. For that moment, it seemed to stretch endlessly, and I heard a song:
“Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are, up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky~”
It was Bobo clapping his hands and singing.
I closed my eyes, scenes of the first time I saw He Ruge appeared before me.
He pushed open the iron gate—
At that time, I didn’t know yet that opening that iron gate didn’t bring a mental stimulator, nor did it bring pain and torture.
A gentle light shone on him, I saw his slender fingers, I smelled the clean scent on him, it was a silent beauty.
There are many things that can never be forgotten in a lifetime.
Like that unforgettable memory, like the first time I met He Ruge.
That was a belated redemption.
“As the sun slowly sets in the west, crows return home in groups, stars blink their little eyes, twinkling till the dawn~”
The song suddenly stopped, Bobo looked up and asked me, “Dad, have we arrived?”
I opened my eyes and saw Star Seventeen. Star Seventeen is a planet with the most festive atmosphere; it has survived two star battles and buried countless bodies. The people on the planet once left their homes, but eventually, they returned.
Autumn is the season of harvest, and the soil where bodies were buried became particularly fertile. So the fruit trees this autumn are laden with fruit, and Song pointed to the black grapevine, saying the eyes of a little puppy in the game are the same color.
Baldy listened attentively and stretched his neck curiously, “What game, Dad? I want to play too!”
We were in line, waiting to board the star track.
I tapped Baldy’s head, “Games where children eat children, children go aside.”
“Dad is lying! Dad is the best in the game! With Dad protecting me, I’m not afraid of anything!”
Baldy pretended to hold a sword in his hand and stabbed the air, making sound effects like “Hu-hu-ha-yi,” with his little tail wagging and looking up at me with a silly smile.
He wore a little superhero mask; although I couldn’t see his face, I could see his bright blue eyes. Baldy’s eyes rolled around, looking mischievous and cute.
“Dad will scare away all the bad guys~”
Indeed, I scared away all the bad guys, but at that time, I wasn’t happy.
Was I happy?
Sad?
Or felt some other emotion?
I’m not sure. I remember that at that time, my wounds hurt, but not to the point of intolerability.
It was my first taste of freedom, but I wasn’t particularly happy; I felt more confused.
At that time, the Federation thought I was too injured, that my wings were broken, so I couldn’t leave.
But I simply had nowhere else to go.
Looking at the stars, that was the starry sky the Golden Python had once described to me. The outside world, it’s so vast.
Song once told Baldy and Bobo the story of “The Frog in the Well”. After hearing the story, Bobo seemed pensive and asked, “Dad, if the frog went outside, what would it think?”
That frog would never go out. He built a deep well around himself, and almost no one could get in, nor could he get out.
Anyone who jumps out is no longer a frog.
In my life, there are three important moments. The first was destroying the Star Ocean Orphanage and breaking free from the prison that imprisoned me. Since then, I’ve no longer been an experimental subject.
The second moment was seeing He Ruge for the first time, a glance that felt like eternity. I found someone who was willing to love with their life, and I also found a beloved who loved me deeply.
The last moment was the day my two cubs hatched, the day I became a father. At first, I didn’t think I could be a qualified father.
Someone once asked me to love the Federation, but I didn’t have such great love. My love was sparse, and all that remained of it was given to He Ruge.
I was afraid; I was afraid of being a cold father.
I remember seeing an experiment in the research institute, where monkeys were raised by robots. When they grew up and became mothers themselves, they not only couldn’t care for their own offspring like normal mother monkeys, but even harmed them.
Sometimes I feel there’s not much difference between me and a wild beast. That ferocity, that urge to kill, is actually an extension of my consciousness and spirit.
I hate the monster inside me. That monster has controlled my body to commit too many atrocities. But in truth… that monster is me.
They say a tiger does not eat its cubs, but when a tiger is starving, it will eat its own young.
And me?
How can I be a good father?
Will I hurt them?
I used to think I lacked the capacity to love. Then He Ruge appeared. Later, I thought I couldn’t love too many people, yet Baldy and Bobo appeared.
He Ruge once said something about faith, “God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.”
If there really are divine beings in this world, did He say, “Let there be love,” and thus He Ruge came into this world?
Did He say, “Love is not enough,” and then Baldy and Bobo followed?
We sat on the Star Rail above Seventeen Star. He Ruge said this feeling was like riding a Ferris wheel. Baldy asked He Ruge what a Ferris wheel was. Their voices continued to linger in my ears, lively and cheerful.
Seventeen Star was bustling everywhere. Where people were, it was bustling; where there were no people, it was also bustling. The flowers blooming on the corpses were brilliant, and the fruits were plentiful.
If I die, bury me in the ground like this, nurturing a blade of grass would be nice too.
We arrived at the celebration center, a newly built huge square. There were many dove statues holding olive branches on the square.
I think this square must have been supervised by the Doves, as the statues of doves appeared inside the square gate. When I walked to the rows of unnamed steles deep in the square, I saw the sculptures of eagles.
Those unnamed steles buried countless warriors. There were too many people who died in the two Star Wars for the Federation to distinguish whose phalanx this was, and whose skull it was, so the Federation simply put these bones together.
The sculpture of the eagle symbolizes the guardian of the tomb.
Those tombstones were adorned with flowers, bunch after bunch, clump after clump.
The songs sung by He Ruge were played on the square, and strangers danced gracefully on the square. A person came to me and smiled, “Are you here to attend the masquerade?”
Since he said so, I hugged He Ruge’s waist, and clumsily danced with him. After Baldy saw me doing this, he also took Bobo’s hand to learn to dance.
None of us knew how to dance, so I simply hugged He Ruge’s waist, our foreheads touching, bodies swaying slightly. He Ruge said to me, “Do you know the Victory Kiss*?”
*T/N: The Victory Kiss, also known as Victory Day Kiss or Kiss of the Century, refers to a kiss that occurred in Times Square, New York City, on August 14, 1945
I asked what that was.
He Ruge smiled and softly said, “Don’t speak, kiss me.”
As I lowered my head to prepare for a light kiss, I caught a glimpse of Baldy using his little butt to bump into Bobo’s butt.
You naughty Baldy, I’ll punish you with ice cream.
But at the moment of kissing He Ruge, I forgot everything else. All I knew was the melodious singing and soft lips.
