WDYS Chapter 15

Then, it was like You Wen had a bizarre dream. He dreamt of the doctor saying to bring another 1000cc blood bag, dreamt of the doctor constantly prying open his eyelids, which made him very annoyed.

He dreamt that even before breaking up with Fu Mingchuan, he had already realized that there was a problem with their relationship, dreamt that he spent a long time trying to avoid it happening.

The pain in the dream was too real, it couldn’t conceal the fact that when You Fan’s accident happened, he and Fu Mingchuan were already halfway broken up.

But when You Fan’s accident happened, Fu Mingchuan still helped him solve a lot of debt problems, and even gave him a lot of cash and assets under the guise of a breakup.

He also dreamt of that day in the garden, Hou Cong saying that Fu Mingchuan was a person who simply couldn’t love, saying that when he was young, Chen Jiyu took him to see many doctors, saying that from childhood to adulthood, his relationship with his family, including his parents, was very indifferent, saying that he wasn’t keen on making friends and also disliked unnecessary social interactions.

Hou Cong said that for so many years, Fu Mingchuan lived like an emotionless machine. No matter what difficulties or situations he encountered, if the machine broke down, it could be repaired and continue to function in a very short time.
Therefore, he was completely unable to establish intimate relationships with anyone, and even feared and rejected such close distances.

In his childhood, he even had brief violent and uncontrolled behavior because he was forced to establish intimate relationships with people. It wasn’t until Chen Jiyu and her husband gave up on forcing a parent-child relationship that Fu Mingchuan’s behavior improved.

As he grew older, his cold and indifferent behavior became more and more obvious. Although he learned social rules well, strictly controlled himself, and made himself look like a filial son, a kind classmate, and an open-minded boss, Chen Jiyu never felt at ease about him.

As an adult, Fu Mingchuan only seemed like a normal person when he was working.
But in private, Fu Mingchuan behaved more and more aloof, rejecting all unnecessary social interactions, maintaining only social friendships with a few people in his small circle, but after returning home, he completely withdrew from the so-called “friend” atmosphere, never talking about friends, as if these people and these matters didn’t exist.

Until You Wen appeared.

You Wen was different, always different.

He was like a little tail, not allowing Fu Mingchuan to escape, forcibly invading Fu Mingchuan’s intimate space. Fu Mingchuan would feel distressed sometimes, but every time he only gave verbal warnings, having no way to deal with You Wen.

Fu Mingchuan was like an imperfect sculpture. Over the past few years, You Wen had been constantly hammering and chiseling at him with axes, hammers, and sharp knives, until the sharp knife was pointed at his heart, breaking down the city walls he had built up little by little.

Earlier, Fu Mingchuan thought he should cut his losses in time, but after You Wen left, he found that he didn’t have the ability to return to his previous life.

Seeing You Wen helpless in the operating room filled Fu Mingchuan with a searing pain, a desperate longing to shield him from suffering. He would gladly have endured it all in his stead.

He remembered that You Wen used to be very delicate. When they went out together and he fell, scraping his palm and causing a little blood to ooze out, You Wen looked at him with tears in his eyes. When he got closer to look at his hand, You Wen leaned his head on his shoulder and cried out in pain.

Later, when You Wen did something wrong and he spoke in a slightly stern tone, You Wen immediately stretched out his hand to show him. Before he could say anything, You Wen would say, “It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.”

Fu Mingchuan stood at the door of the operating room with bloodshot eyes, unable to move, unable to think, unable to feel his own breathing, unable to feel his own heartbeat.

How could he have been willing to abandon You Wen in the first place, when he was clearly more important than the whole world?

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When he woke up again, it was already a day later. You Wen opened his eyes and looked around, finally feeling like he had returned to the world.

Fu Mingchuan was taking a nap on the single sofa next to him. As soon as You Wen made a sound, he woke up. He stood up but before he could approach, You Wen said, “I’m fine.”

Fu Mingchuan put a pillow behind him and said, “I’ll call the doctor.”

Soon, three doctors came in with two nurses. They gave You Wen a thorough examination and then had a detailed discussion with Fu Mingchuan. You Wen listened from the side and roughly understood what the doctors meant: as long as he took good care of himself, he would be fine.

After the doctors left, You Wen took the initiative to comfort Fu Mingchuan, “I feel pretty good, don’t worry.”

Fu Mingchuan sat down beside his bed and gently pressed his forehead against You Wen’s, his voice soft and tender as he asked, “Were you scared yesterday all alone?”

It took a moment for You Wen to realize that Fu Mingchuan was talking about the car accident. He whispered, “A little.”

Fu Mingchuan desperately wished he could go back to yesterday, get into You Wen’s car, and hold him when the accident happened, to keep him from being afraid. “I didn’t have time to say it yesterday, but there’s never been anything between Ruan Jing and me. We were classmates for a while, and recently we’ve had more contact because of a project we’re working on together.”

“I know,” You Wen said, not concerned about that at all. “Didn’t I tell you yesterday? I didn’t misunderstand you, so don’t blame yourself. Yesterday was just an accident.”

“It was also an accident that happened because of that video, so it’s still somewhat related.” Fu Mingchuan didn’t want to argue, but he was afraid You Wen wouldn’t understand and would blame him. “If so many people misunderstood, it must be because I wasn’t careful enough. I won’t do anything that could cause misunderstandings again.”

“I really didn’t misunderstand.” You Wen looked into Fu Mingchuan’s eyes. “If you really liked Ruan Jing, he wouldn’t be so arrogant in front of me. He doesn’t look like someone who’s favored.”

“Then why?” Fu Mingchuan still didn’t understand, and didn’t want to recall You Wen’s expression yesterday, which clearly said “forget it.”

You Wen had thought to just let it go yesterday, but today he still explained to Fu Mingchuan: “Because I like you too much.”

He smiled, “Maybe you like me a little now too, but the more it is like this, the more I realize we’re not suitable.”

Fu Mingchuan analyzed You Wen’s words and expression word by word: “Why are we not suitable?”

There were too many reasons why they weren’t suitable, and You Wen didn’t know where to start for a while. “Let me just say one thing. That time you took me to Shengting, I learned for the first time that you had another home. When you weren’t with me, you lived in your own house.”

After a pause, You Wen continued, “Your friends all knew about this house, but I didn’t. It’s like I’ve always been outside of your life.”

“Including the fact that you said many people misunderstood that you and Ruan Jing were together, it’s also because you never brought me into your social circle, so there was no basis for misunderstanding.”

“We’ve always been two parallel lines. It’s because I like you too much that I kept trying to run towards you, but even if there was an intersection, we would quickly separate again.”

So You Wen never really cared about Ruan Jing. It was just that all the details in life showed him that Fu Mingchuan had never included him in his life from beginning to end. How could there be such a way of loving someone?

What frightened him most and what he couldn’t say to Fu Mingchuan was that Ruan Jing had known Fu Mingchuan for ten years, but Fu Mingchuan didn’t know Ruan Jing liked him until the day before yesterday.

Fu Mingchuan simply couldn’t love, he knew nothing about feelings between people.

But the love You Wen gave had to be reciprocated.

Loving someone who would never love you back was truly too painful.

That day at the bus stop, when he realized this truth that he had been trying to hide from himself, he wished he could just die right then and there.

If he died, he wouldn’t have to face these truths, wouldn’t have to face all the things he had done to Fu Mingchuan that were almost like cruel slaughter.

He was in pain, but every time he got close, it would also make Fu Mingchuan suffer. He recklessly destroyed the rules in Fu Mingchuan’s heart, but Fu Mingchuan never mentioned it.

And until they broke up, he never even once knew the turbulent emotions hidden beneath Fu Mingchuan’s calm demeanor.

Fu Mingchuan said he had considered breaking up for a long time. You Wen didn’t dare to think about how long it had been, maybe a year, maybe two years, maybe even before they got engaged. Fu Mingchuan never learned to reject him, which was why their breakup was so messy.

Every step he took was wrong, and every step was also a missed opportunity.

Fu Mingchuan felt there were many things he could explain, but all he said was, “They all look at you, and I don’t like it.”

It took You Wen a moment to understand what Fu Mingchuan was talking about. When they first got engaged, Fu Mingchuan would occasionally take him to some banquets that he felt were necessary for socializing. Fu Mingchuan was saying that when he took him there, other people would look at him.
You Wen’s heart skipped a beat.

“I didn’t understand it at that time, I just felt that if that was the case, there was no need for you to go to those banquets anymore, and you never said you wanted to go.”

“I haven’t lived in the Shengting house since we got engaged. When I’m not on business trips and not going back to Linjiang Garden, I’m basically with you.”

“At that time, I was very afraid that you would make a fuss. The doctor was right, I have intimacy issues. I was always afraid of you getting too close, but as long as you made a fuss, I couldn’t help but agree to everything.”

“This made me feel very painful.”

“I’ve always been a decisive person, I thought I could let go.”

“But then I found out I couldn’t.”

“It’s okay if you don’t appear in front of me, but as long as you’re in my sight, I still want you.”

Seeing that You Wen remained silent, Fu Mingchuan squeezed his fingertips. “Why do you always stay quiet? I always want you to talk more, not because I liked the old you more, but because I want you to be like before, not thinking about anything, just being happy. But you always seem unhappy.”

You Wen wanted to pull his hand away, but Fu Mingchuan tightened his grip on his fingertips. He gave up and said, “You really don’t know how to be in a relationship. You’re so domineering. You seem to agree to everything I say, but you haven’t actually agreed to anything.”

Fu Mingchuan moved closer to You Wen, his voice like a temptation, “You can teach me.”

You Wen wasn’t swayed. “Where is my aunt and Zhou Hui?”

After a while, Fu Mingchuan reluctantly replied, “Outside. Do you want to see them?”

You Wen was dumbfounded. He didn’t expect Fu Mingchuan to actually do such a thing. You Shi already disliked Fu Mingchuan, and now her impression of him would definitely hit rock bottom.

Fu Mingchuan got up. “I’ll let them in.” But he didn’t leave immediately, and explained, “They were too noisy yesterday, crying all the time. I was afraid it would disturb you.”

You Wen’s expression was complicated. He could already imagine the scene of the two of them scolding Fu Mingchuan yesterday.

Soon, You Shi and Zhou Hui walked in together. Unexpectedly, Chen Jiyu also entered with an embarrassed look on her face.

You Shi was no longer willing to maintain a superficial relationship with Fu Mingchuan. Her face was etched with anger, and if You Wen hadn’t been present, she would probably have thrown a tantrum.

Zhou Hui, on the other hand, was different. Perhaps because he had scolded Fu Mingchuan yesterday, he was now like a quail, not daring to look at Fu Mingchuan at all.

Chen Jiyu, caught in the middle, was the most innocent. She didn’t dare to offend anyone and simply blamed everything on Fu Mingchuan, scolding him as soon as she entered.

You Wen quickly comforted everyone, saying that he was fine. He listened to You Shi complaining about why he ran up the mountain in the middle of the night and blaming herself for playing cards yesterday and missing his call.

Then she asked You Wen if he was in pain, and Chen Jiyu also held his hand, looking at him with distress.

You Wen replied that he really wasn’t in pain and repeated the doctor’s words, saying that he would be fine after some rest. You Shi said that she would take him to Germany after he recovered. She said this while looking at Chen Jiyu, implying that she should go and deal with her son.

You Wen didn’t refute, but he felt Fu Mingchuan looking at him, even though You Shi was blocking his view.

Zhou Hui asked from the side what was this about Germany, what was he going to Germany for.

After a while, You Wen replied, “My aunt asked me to accompany her there for a while.”

Zhou Hui didn’t think much of it and didn’t ask how long he would be staying. He just said that he would also go to Germany to visit You Wen when he had time.

Chen Jiyu changed the subject, only asking about You Wen’s health. She didn’t need to turn her head to know that her son had really fallen head over heels this time.

Yesterday, when they arrived at the hospital, only Fu Mingchuan was waiting at the door of the emergency room. You Shi and Zhou Hui took turns berating Fu Mingchuan, but he didn’t react at all, just stared at the door of the emergency room, his eyes incredibly red.

It wasn’t until You Wen was pushed out that he finally reacted. He ignored everyone, had the ward door tightly guarded, and if Zhou Hui’s voice got a little louder, he would have people warn them that if they made any more noise, they would all be kicked out of the hospital.

Fu Mingchuan didn’t give face to anyone, including her.

At that time, Chen Jiyu felt that there was no one in the world that Fu Mingchuan cared about anymore. She knew that her son had fallen hard.

Because Fu Mingchuan was acting more ruthless than ever, not caring about interpersonal relationships or social niceties. He had been pretending for so many years, and at that moment, he was unwilling to pretend anymore.

But today, Fu Mingchuan just quietly put the white roses he brought for You Wen into a vase and carefully adjusted the height of the backrest for You Wen when he showed discomfort.

They talked for a whole hour until You Wen showed signs of fatigue. Only then did You Shi call in the caregiver she had hired and carefully instructed her on You Wen’s living habits.

During this time, You Wen looked at Fu Mingchuan several times, afraid that he would stop You Shi, but Fu Mingchuan didn’t say anything and even politely escorted You Shi out.

You Shi didn’t even give Fu Mingchuan a glance before leaving, but she did exchange a few polite words with Chen Jiyu.

You Wen felt a little awkward and privately messaged You Shi not to be like that, but she ignored him.